Vintage Blind Gossip – Chunky Charlie

Naked Celebs

Here’s the weekly vintage Blind Gossip for y’all. Going back to 2005.
Again, excuse our site problems. Our webmaster is working on getting it all back to normal ASAP.

One (Re-)Netted Blind Gossip - August 17, 2005

Chunky Charlie is known for baiting Hollywood’s more rarefied fishies. But for a minute there, C2 decided to settle down with a purty little mermaid. Even had a few guppies as a result.
But then it all came plummeting down faster than the Titanic, I declare. C.C. couldn’t keep his fins in his pants–like, at all–so, Missus Mermaid ditched his increasingly déclassé ass and took a settlement the size of the Caribbean in the process. Ouchie-wouchie!
Charles felt the requisite chastising and pain. His friends told him this was no way to exist–floundering from one fillet to the next. Try it again, they said. Settle down!
Like a fool, Charlie listened. Found himself a nice simple little thing. Pretty as a perch, too.
Only problem being, the shark deep inside Charlie is at it, yet again. And now he has a new MO, so, ladies, watch out: Whereas olden times had C.C. seducing with bravura fitting a barracuda, Mr. C.’s increasing waistline now requires a more polished, yet just as effective reeling-in–aw shucks, Nemo style. It’s landing Charles some real prizes, trust me.

AND IT AIN’T: Sylvester Stallone, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith

Also eliminated: John Travolta, Michael Douglas, Jack Nicholson

Top suspect: Kevin Costner

Written by Naked Celebs · Filed Under Blind Gossip