Lainey – Bad with People
YAY! A new Lainey riddle today … :)
Bad with People
Maybe we’re not his species. But he broke hearts recently on a promotional tour and shat on all the little people in his way. Of course he turned it on for cameras, of course he was super nice to those with a higher profile, but assistants, crew, hair and makeup, drivers, all were beneath him, which is why he required his door opened every time, all the time, would make a stink if he had to help himself, and refused to make eye contact with the lowly helpers who were ordered to provide his refreshments.
At all stops he would sweep into the makeup room, total JLo/Mimi/Country Bitch/major ass diva styles, not bother with an introduction, put his feet up on the artist table, throw his head back, CLOSE HIS EYES, and EXPECT to be treated. No please, no thank you, not even any simple request, to the point where, on several occasions, no one knew what to do, until it had to be explained to them that this particular move signals that he’s ready to have his makeup either applied or taken off, depending on where we are in the day.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
Well of course that’s what it means.
Only a well mannered, well raised human being would expect someone who’s never met you before to automatically know what the f-ck it is that you’re asking for when you’re too special to have to ask for it in the first place. Asshole.
What a major disappointment. As for his victims? They are the sweetest, loveliest, gentlest people I’ve ever worked with. They’ve also worked with some of the biggest names in entertainment. And all of them said that this motherf-cker, with his little specialty show, could rival and surpass the top superstars in the world in attitude and f-ckery.
Bitch, you just lost a lot of fans.
Our top suspect: Cesar Millan.
Update Sept 23 – Lainey has eliminated Conan O’Brien, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Joel McHale.
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