February 27, 2012
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February 27, 2012
Here’s another one with two! Also included Wendell Waxer‘s second Blind Gossip. He was eventually revealed by Ted to be Jesse Metcalfe.
Two Schnoz-Straining Blind Gossips – January 18, 2007
After-hours parties always spell trouble, right? Yes, thank gawd! I mean, anything that happens after the clubs close at some über-mansion in the Hollywood Hills after two ayem is bound to be bad news, right?
(Just ask Lindsay Lohan where that type of late-night stuff lands you, if you don’t believe moi.)
Such delish naughtiness is what was goin’ down at the owner of a Hollywood hot spot’s posh pad recently. After the booty-shakin’ boîte announced last call, said proprietor moved the celeb-hoppin’ pah-tay to his private home. How very accommodating!
And all the usual trash-rag suspects were there, as well as some more surprising ones.
But, no guest, I assure you, was as shocking as the Sniffer honey, a rail-thin tart, if there ever was one. This skinny gal, who has a rather wholesome rep, has been rumored to like hitting the slopes before, ya know. But, nothing concrete has been sighted on her—until now.
Some peeps say hitting the powder runs is precisely why this gal got so damn skeletal all of the sudden. But, I digress, per usual.
Anyhow, Ms. Sniff was in dire need of a hit and told the whole room as much.
“Do you have our stuff?” Sniffer Stella yelled to her partner in partying crime, who, evidently, had the supply. “I need a bump!” Thank heavens S.B.’s trusty amiga had the goods! “It’s right here in my purse!,” the partygoer yelled back, as the girls not so discreetly rendezvoused to the bathroom, almost as if they were in the mansion all by themselves (which was hardly the case).
Meanwhile, at the same nose-candy coral, a very pretty boy we’ll call Wendell Waxer was being rather oBlind Gossipious himself.
The good-lookin’ guy, whose sexuality is often questioned, was loudly placing a bet with a friend over who could score the hottest girl in the house.
The winner, it was decided between the cave-dude types, got not only bragging rights, but the rails of coke lined up on the coffee table for the taking.
W2 won, of course, and pulled a hottie right fast. But, W.W., hon, you’d better be careful…the booger sugar, to be friggin’ sure, ages that fine face of yours faster than your flack gets fake union items in the gossips.
For Sniffer Stella –
Eliminated: Jessica Simpson, Nicki Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Sienna Miller, Keira Knightley, Kirsten Dunst, Reese Witherspoon
Top suspects: Hillary Duff, Jessica Alba
Then here’s the second Wendell Waxer Blind Gossip…
One Jerk-Off Blind Gossip – June 1, 2007
What can you really say about a guy like Wendell Waxer? First off, he’s damn lucky. See, Wendell was attending film school on the East Coast when he was “discovered” on the streets. Wendell scored a semisweet deal acting on a network offering. Pretty fortuitous, considering our comely Wendell had no acting training whatsoever.
W2 eventually ditched school and headed for T-town with his long-term girlfriend from college. Now, keep in boo-hoo mind, the good-intentioned, blushing g-f moved out west to support her man, who promptly got a huge-ass head from his newfound stardom and dumped her ass.
Now, Ms. Dumped Derriere would surely hasten one to not only not date her creep-a-zoid old flame but also to not invite him to dinner at your pad. See, during a holiday when W.W. couldn’t make it home, a good college bud of his graciously asked Wen to spend the time at his fam’s place. And Wendell caused a huge fracas at his guest’s house over a friggin’ board game.
Apparently, mean-ass, egomaniac Wendell made his host’s younger sibling bawl over a game of Scattegories. W2 promptly got booted by the host’s horrified mama.
Later on down the line, after his big network debut, his same amigo from school was making a movie. And despite Wendell’s pleading, he didn’t think W2 was quite right for any parts and chose not to audition him. I mean, the guy had never even taken any acting classes, so it’s understandable why someone might have doubts, right?
Apparently not to narcissistic Wendell, who did what any mature person would do. He stopped speaking to his former friend. Like I said, sweet.
Sounds like someone needs some attitude rehab, among other things.
And It Ain’t: Doug Savant, James Denton, Shawn Pyfrom (all from Desperate Housewives)
For Wendell Waxer -
Eliminated: Wentworth Miller, Jamie Foxx, Hayden Christensen, Doug Savant, James Denton, Shawn Pyfrom, Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake
Ted revealed to be: Jesse Metcalfe
February 27, 2012
February 26, 2012
Emily Haack In I Spit On Your Corpse I Piss On Your Grave Scene 5
February 26, 2012
As requested by reader roseyf, here is one a lot of people thought was John Mayer. I always thought this one was Adam Levine though. See comments section for a hint from Ted.
One Vainglorious Blind Gossip – Feb 13, 2006
Okay, darlings. I’m just gonna lay down the get-laid law. When you’re twisting in the sheets with a lip-mashing mate, selfish behavior has got to be at the top of the don’t list. Sex is all about focusing on your partner, relishing their nooks, crannies, piercings and whatnot. I mean, sure, we all get off on ourselves; it’s just that usually you save that for when you’re alone. And that’s why Probe Light is so shocking. He’s a rocker—okay, semi-rocker—a very dreamy boy from the sensitive side of the tracks. Sort of a clean-living-room thing. And so as you can predict, this saga begins backstage at one of Probe’s concerts. An unknown minx makes her way into P.L.’s dressing room. One flirtatious remark leads to a lick of the lips, and before ya can say, “Top 40 music rules”…Boom, boom, boom, they go, back to his room where they do it all night. Oh. Forgot one little detail about this assignation. Ya see, Probe’s own music was playing on the stereo the whole friggin’ time. Such a small fornicating factoid, wonder how the hell I forgot it? Seriously, though, give us all a minute to catch our breath here. I mean, where is the romance? Who gets off on their own damn recorded music? Are you kidding me? Isn’t that sort of like making love next to a sculpture of your own Johnson? Ya see, the gal was disturbed; but she didn’t say anything, shy as she is. Then again, maybe Mick Jagger likes to get satisfaction while listening to one of his band’s 10 zillion tunes. But he’s a Rolling Stone. And Probe’s, well, Probe. Hardly a legend. What’s also weird about this incident is I already knew Mr. L. had some kinky quirks, which is fine. But to learn that he would get a D- in Romance 101? Shame. There is, howevah, a happy ending, at least by my standards. Probe surprised his one-night stand with a little mouth-to… Exact body location to remain undisclosed. I’ll take a cue from P.L.’s sweet, preteen-appropriate lyrics. He, after all, would never be so explicit.
And It Ain’t: Ryan Cabrera, John Legend, Aaron Carter
Also eliminated: Justin Timberlake
Top suspects: John Mayer, Adam Levine
February 26, 2012
12:00am IFC Shadow of the Vampire (2000) with Catherine McCormack nude (breasts)
12:00am SUND Sorry, Haters (2005) with Robin Wright Penn sexy (underwear)
12:40am SHO2 Halloween II (2009) with Angela Trimbur sexy (underwear), Danielle Harris nude (breasts, butt), Scout Taylor-Compton sexy (underwear), Sylvia Jefferies nude (breasts, bush, butt)
12:55am HBOSG Two Girls and a Guy (1998) with Heather Graham nude (butt)
12:55am HBO2 Set It Off (1997) with Jada Pinkett Smith (body double), Samantha MacLachlan sexy (thong), Tamara Clatterbuck nude (breasts)
01:00am HBO Your Highness (2011) with Natalie Portman sexy (thong), Zooey Deschanel sexy
01:00am FLIX 3 A.M. (2001) with Marika Dominczyk nude (breasts)
01:30am SUND Wassup Rockers (2005) with Ashley Maldonado sexy (underwear), Heidi Hawking sexy (bikini), Jessica Steinbaum sexy (underwear)
01:40am ENC Johnny Mnemonic (1995) with Dina Meyer sexy
01:45am TMC Eden Lake (2008) with Kelly Reilly sexy (bikini)
02:00am IFC From Dusk Till Dawn (1995) with Juliette Lewis sexy (bikini), Salma Hayek sexy (bikini)
02:30am SHO2 Blue Valentine (2010) with Michelle Williams nude (breasts, bush, butt)
02:30am SHO Give ‘em Hell Malone (2009) with Elsa Pataky nude (butt)
02:35am FLIX The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989) with Helen Mirren nude (breasts, bush, butt)
02:40am STARZ Spartacus: Vengeance: Libertus (2012) with Delaney Tabron nude (breasts)
03:00am HBO2 Identity (2003) with Amanda Peet sexy (underwear)
03:15am SUND Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (2007) with Marisa Tomei nude (breasts, butt)
03:30am TMC Sliver (1993) with Allison Mackie nude (breasts, bush), Sharon Stone nude (breasts, butt)
03:45am HBO Get Him to the Greek (2010) with Elisabeth Moss sexy (underwear), Meddy Ford nude (breasts), Rose Byrne sexy (bikini, underwear)
03:55am MOMAX Fargo (1995) with Michelle Hutchinson nude (butt)
04:00am HBOSG In the Cut (2003) with Jennifer Jason Leigh sexy (underwear), Meg Ryan nude (breasts, bush, butt)
04:15am IFC Offspring (2009) with Ahna Tessler nude (breasts, bush, butt), Leigh Feldpausch nude (breasts, bush, butt)
05:15am SHO2 Shade (2003) with Erika Nann nude (breasts), J. Katherine Novy nude (breasts)
05:35am MOMAX Poodle Springs (1998) with Dina Meyer nude (butt), Julia Campbell nude (breasts), La Joy Farr sexy, Nia Peeples sexy
06:00am HBO2 Fatal Instinct (1993) with Sean Young sexy (underwear, thong)
06:30am FLIX The Hollow (2004) with Shelley Bennett nude (breasts)
07:30am CINEMAX The Kids Are All Right (2010) with Annette Bening sexy (lesbian), Julianne Moore nude (breasts, butt), Yaya DaCosta nude (breasts, butt)
09:15am IFC Johnson Family Vacation (2004) with Vanessa L. Williams sexy
09:20am CINEMAX Ruthless People (1986) with Jeannine Bisignano nude (breasts)
10:00am SHO Raising Genius (2004) with Wendie Malick sexy (underwear)
10:45am HBO Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004) with Paris Hilton sexy (bikini) [DVD Special Features only]11:00am HBO2 Inventing the Abbotts (1997) with Jennifer Connelly nude (breasts)
11:00am CINEMAX Stag Night (2008) with Sarah Barrand nude (breasts)
11:25am SHO Thirst (2008) with Lacey Chabert sexy (bikini), Mercedes McNab sexy (bikini)
11:30am MOMAX Sucker Punch (2011) with Abbie Cornish sexy, Emily Browning sexy (underwear), Jamie Chung sexy, Jena Malone sexy, Vanessa Hudgens sexy
11:30am STARZ The Tourist (2010) with Angelina Jolie sexy (underwear)
11:40am TMC The Lucky Ones (2008) with Rachel McAdams sexy (underwear)
12:30pm CINEMAX The Saint (1997) with Elisabeth Shue sexy (underwear)
12:50pm HBOSG Titanic (1997) with Kate Winslet nude (breasts, butt)
12:55pm HBO2 Out of Sight (1998) with Jennifer Lopez sexy (underwear), Nancy Allen sexy (underwear)
01:30pm STARZ The Roommate (2011) with Alyson Michalka sexy, Danneel Harris sexy (underwear, lesbian), Leighton Meester sexy (underwear, lesbian), Minka Kelly sexy
02:30pm HBO Swimfan (2002) with Erika Christensen sexy (underwear), Kate Burton sexy, Shiri Appleby sexy
02:30pm CINEMAX For Love of the Game (1999) with Kelly Preston sexy (underwear), Laura Cayouette sexy (underwear)
02:45pm FLIX Sex and a Girl (2001) with Alison Lohman sexy (bikini), Angela Gots nude (breasts), Ellen Greene nude (butt), Lisa Brenner sexy (underwear), Soleil Moon Frye sexy (underwear)
03:00pm ENC Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) with Milla Jovovich sexy
03:00pm FMC Break Up (1998) with Bridget Fonda nude (breasts)
03:20pm MOMAX Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) with Kristanna Loken nude (breasts, butt)
04:00pm IFC Johnson Family Vacation (2004) with Vanessa L. Williams sexy
04:10pm HBOSG Hereafter (2010) with Cécile De France nude (breasts)
04:30pm HBO S.W.A.T. (2003) with Michelle Rodriguez sexy (underwear)
05:55pm HBO2 The Lawnmower Man (1991) with Jenny Wright nude (breasts)
06:25pm HBOSG Cyrus (2010) with Marisa Tomei sexy (underwear)
06:30pm FLIX Ed and His Dead Mother (1993) with Nancy Reed nude (butt), Sam Jenkins nude (breasts, butt)
06:30pm HBO Vampires Suck (2010) with Jenn Proske sexy (underwear)
07:50pm CINEMAX The Town (2010) with Blake Lively sexy
08:00pm ENC Scarface (1983) with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio nude (breasts), Michelle Pfeiffer sexy, Sue Bowser nude (breasts, butt)
08:00pm TMC Rubber (2010) with Roxane Mesquida nude (breasts, butt)
08:00pm SHO2 The Mechanic (2011) with Mini Anden nude (breasts, butt)
08:00pm FLIX A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994) with Nikki Fritz sexy (thong), Salli Richardson sexy (underwear), Shawn Lusader nude (breasts, bush)
09:00pm STARZ Spartacus: Vengeance: Libertus (2012) with Delaney Tabron nude (breasts)
09:00pm SHO Blue Valentine (2010) with Michelle Williams nude (breasts, bush, butt)
09:00pm MOMAX House of the Rising Sun (2011) with Debra Harrison-Lowe nude (breasts)
09:30pm TMC Super (2010) with Ellen Page sexy (underwear), Liv Tyler sexy
09:45pm FLIX Pauly Shore Is Dead (2003) with Jaime Bergman sexy (underwear), Jewel De’Nyle nude (breasts)
10:00pm STARZ The Tourist (2010) with Angelina Jolie sexy (underwear)
10:00pm CINEMAX Stag Night (2008) with Sarah Barrand nude (breasts)
10:15pm IFC Open Water 2: Adrift (2006) with Ali Hillis nude (breasts, butt), Cameron Richardson nude (butt), Susan May Pratt sexy (underwear)
10:30pm HBOSG Wall Street (1987) with Andrea Thompson sexy (underwear), Suzen Murakoshi nude (breasts, bush, butt)
10:50pm ENC Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) with Milla Jovovich sexy
11:10pm TMC Finding Bliss (2008) with Christa Campbell nude (breasts), Leelee Sobieski sexy (underwear), Mircea Monroe nude (butt), Stormy Daniels nude (breasts)
11:10pm FLIX Hand Gun (1994) with Anna Levine nude (breasts)
11:50pm STARZ Spartacus: Vengeance: Libertus (2012) with Delaney Tabron nude (breasts)
February 26, 2012
Melissa Mascara In End Of Days
February 26, 2012
Marna Barranco In The Ages Of Lulu
February 26, 2012
February 26, 2012