Fake à la Ferocity knows how to have it all. She’s got the fans, the perfect relationship, the career, the love, the adoration, the healed needle marks! What more could a chick want in life? Maybe to hold onto that existence, perhaps?

When we last spoke of Ms. F, everybody was gossing in overdrive because she was so painfully thin. And, you know, most folks thought it was starvation stuff and the honey-doll just wasn’t eating much. Not true. F2 was shooting up with the best of ‘em, and, trust, plenty of H-wood honey-pies are on heroin right now. I mean, forget closeted fagolas—that’s the real dirty secret in this town, for now, at least.

But Fake à la needed to get off the hard stuff for a variety of reasons, family and Biz included. Firstly, she’s done it before. Secondly, she’s not stoopid; Ms. Ferocity knows damn well if she keeps up the drugs like most of her addicted colleagues have, she’ll say buh-bye to everything she’s nabbed. F.F. has no intention of pulling a Belushi, I assure you. And that is why Fake à la employs some of Hell-Ay’s fanciest docs, their specialty being weaning famous folks off drugs via synthetic goodies that’ll make anybody’s bad day a tad more doable. Roughing in rehab? No, babes, that’s for the little people.

However, there does lie a small kink in this elite, indulged sitch, prob being Ferocity’s docs think their client’s intending to quit for good. Uh, yeah. She’ll do that about as soon as she stops screwing whomever she pleases. See, the cleaning up’s only for F2’s current activities, babes. Then it’s right back to anorexia rumors, count on it.

And it ain’t: Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd

Below is the first Blind Gossip about FALF, from June 2007:

Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity…the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin’ while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least. Lately, F2′s once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn’t the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned ’bout our gal Fakey. See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags…until recently. She’s known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin’ heretical here in lip-cemented T-town! Apparently, Ms. Ef’s hiding one helluva secret. And I’m the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers ‘n’ shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She’s got what’s known as…a heroin habit. Well, she’s hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It’s just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin’ broad happens to be as of late. Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what’s really behind Fake-à-la’s rapidly withering figure? It’ll be “Paris who?” should that happen, trust.

And It Ain’t: Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley

* These Blind Gossips are both suspected to be: Angelina Jolie. *

Excluded as of 2/18/09: Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd, Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley, Madonna, Jenna Jameson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Sharon Stone, Jessica Simpson, Madonna, Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley, Jenna Jameson, Victoria Beckham, Nicole Richie, Jennifer Garner, Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth, Charlize Theron, Mary Kate Olsen, Melanie Griffith, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Felicity Huffman, Ashley Olsen, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connolly, Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst.

Here is the link to the other (3rd) FALF Blind Gossip from Nov 21 ’08.