4/30/08: One Karma-Killin Blind Gossip- solved?

According to TMZ, Billy Bob Thornton’s 14-year-old son is at the center of an investigation after reports that he was having “unlawful sex” w/ a 22-year-old woman. The identity of the woman was not revealed but she may be facing charges. Looks like Billy Bob may be our “Butch Spit Spat”.

4/29/08: Ted hints John Mayer is Super Dooper Cooper

“Dear Ted:Is Super Duper Cooper from One Special Scratch-n-Sniff Blind Gossip Matthew McConaughey? Sonia Lexington, S.C.

NY Daily News-Gatecrasher 4/29/08

Which methed-up TV personality tells British pals: “I always know I’m home when I see the Albert Bridge [in London], because I’m just minutes from my drug dealer’s place!”

From NY Daily News 4/24/08:

Don’t Shoot the Messenger
Which gorgeous Latina actress is said to have a Sapphic relationship with her hair stylist?

From NY Daily News 4/25/08:

Don’t Shoot the Messenger: Which ‘sensitive’ heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can’t go but five minutes between bathroom breaks

NY Post 4/27

Page Six, Just Asking

April 27, 2008 –
WHICH former ambassador (and big Democratic fund-raiser) tried to deliver a beautiful orchid to a Danish envoy at a fancy co-op on Park Avenue, only to be told by the doorman to use the service entrance? “It’s the only building with a separate entrance for servants and diplomats,” laughed a neighbor . . .
WHICH hippie-chic New York socialite’s family is falling apart? Her mother found out the man of the house has a fondness for bimbos, and he refuses to desist from his dalliances . . .
WHICH local beauty queen went on a recent weekend-long drug binge? The young pageant winner was so wasted at a friend’s apartment, she could hardly speak.

One Smelly, Sapphic Blind Gossip

Ted’s latest Blind Gossip:

Lead-ins

Something to Slink About
Which reality-TV star’s a hot, horny mess at home? Find out in this week’s Blind Gossip!

Lick it up
Gross, sorry, but we’ve finally managed to get lesbians, poop and hot sex all into one Blind Gossip. Aren’t you impressed? Check out Fanny Fecal-Farmer’s dubious domestic activities (but some of ‘em sure are delish!) in today’s animal-active Vice. Ready to bark, babes?

One Smelly, Sapphic Blind Gossip

Isn’t shopping for real estate in Hell-Ay just so fun? It really is the new Sunday to-do in the City of Fallen Mortgages. Now that houses for sale are more abundant in T-town than overpriced Fred Segal tees, everybody’s looking to make a killing, celebs and noncelebs alike. ‘Course, Fanny Fecal-Farmer is so successful already with her reality boob-tube career, she’s gone ahead and bought herself another swank Hollywood compound before unloading her present one. But uh-oh! Fanny first purchased back when the market was considerably more flush, and she was just beginning her rise to the top of the cheeky heap. She overpaid considerably.

Now she’s stuck with a million-dollar-plus job that’s probably going to take at least half that price tag to fix up. See, FFF’s a busy, horny girl. When she’s not off parading as a new, terribly authoritative star of her show, she’s back home making love to her girlfriend and letting her hillside house essentially rot to pot—not to mention allowing her adorable pooches to prance, poop and prowl all over the property, wreaking canine havoc. And since Ms. Fecal-Farmer so adores her g-friend (and the sweaty, time-consuming, mucho-athletic things they do in bed), she simply has no time to clean the damn place up. Another prob being Ms. F.F. abhors reprimanding her doggies for crapping and urinating everywhere just as much as she does training them not to. Therefore, Fanny had the most brills idea!

Since the rather attractive gal knew fixing up her pad would take more care and money than she preferred to provide, she authorized her Realtors to splash “Secluded Celebrity Retreat!” all over the advertising campaign, effectively luring additional looky-loos. And just when potential buyers are about to flee, due to the urine and dog excrement collections everywhere, Fanny just happens to come home, unexpectedly, and—voilà!—the “celebrity” is revealed, thereby assuring some sort of purchasing incentive.

Hasn’t worked, so far. House ain’t movin’, and it’s stinkier than ever.

(Though, must admit, fooled lookers have enjoyed the sex-toy display in the bedroom, very impressive, Fan-hon!)

And it ain’t: Rachael Ray, Heidi Montag, Kim Kardashian

* Suspected to be: Jackie Warner from Bravo’s Work Out. Or possibly Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser.

April 25, 2008 Updates

Today’s Updates

Read more

Lainey – A Bitch to Work For

New from Lainey today…

Successful multi-hyphenate, super well connected personally and professionally with a reputation for being kind and compassionate and evolved.

Wrong.

Maybe for the media and maybe her fashionable celebrity friends, maybe for investors, maybe for executives, but some of her employees would vehemently disagree.

Turns out she’s a little bit of a Miranda Priestly when she comes in to the office. Starts snapping her fingers right away, never remembers anyone’s name, everyone is treated like a personal assistant, dispatched to do her bidding instead of actually getting down to work, recently held up a creative meeting because she wanted whole milk and not cream with her coffen, then 20 minutes into the meeting, she held it up again when her cell phone rang, proceeded to keep everyone waiting another 15 minutes while she discussed measurements on a dress she was having made, did not apologise when she clicked off the line, and instead embarrassed a staffer who returned to the room after having excused himself to take an urgent phone call when she was taking hers.

But all that is rather pedestrian. There are no shortage of bitches in Hollywood. In the grand scheme of things, all that is pretty harmless.

Until you get into job security.

A pregnant member of her staff was scheduled to give birth around crunch time. Her boss’s convenient remedy for the situation was to not hire her back when everyone else returned to work. At the very least she was honest. She told her straight up – your due date doesn’t work for me. I don’t think you’ll be able to contribute in the same way you did before.

So the employee hired a lawyer, a lawsuit loomed, and the boss bitch had to backpedal to the tune of a handsome pay-off (confidential, of course) and several seminars on employee rights although it apparently hasn’t helped.

She’s still super stingy, to the point where she complains about the quality of craft services (it’s too good) and even supplies, haggles over offering vacation pay, and will not foot the bill for staff celebrations and events, even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited.

Crazier still, she seems to be clueless when it comes to tact. The other day she said to one of her producers – if you need something to do this weekend, my assistant could use some help planning our reception. You could stay for dinner if you want.

When he declined, she looked at him like he was closing the door to the opportunity of a lifetime.

Before you ask, it’s not the Mighty Opes.

Update 4/29/08 – Lainey has said it is not: Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Martha Stewart, Vera Wang, Sarah Jessica Parker, Courteney Cox Arquette, Kimora Lee Simmons, Victoria Beckham, Rachael Ray, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Beyonce Knowles, Heidi Klum, Gwen Stefani.

*Top Suspect: Salma Hayek

***Update 1/15/09 – Lainey has hinted that this is Salma Hayek as we have suspected.

Emma Watson Upskirt Pussy Shot!

Emma Watson just turned 18 and gave us a gift! For her birthday, Emma gave us a nice, clear shot up her dress! The paparazzi appeared to be waiting for it, as they got a few nice pictures of Miss Watson’s see-through panties.

Bask in the glory of Emma Watson’s upskirt showing her full pubic hair. It’s nice to see that she doesn’t shave like a pornstar. Read more