Nudity In Theaters, 3/22/2008
March 22, 2008
Here’s what’s new and nude at your local theaters this week.
Sexy/Revealing Scenes
Wide Release
1.Shutter
A.Rachael Taylor, 1.bare back wearing panties in bed, 2.in bra in bed, 3.in t-shirt and panties, 4.in just a t-shirt
B.???????, stripping down to bra and panties
2.Drillbit Taylor
A.2 Anonymous, in bikinis lying down
Limited Release
1.Love Songs (France film)
A.Ludivine Sagnier, in panties
B.Clotilde Hesmer, in bra
2.The Grand (U.S.A film)
A.Andrea Savage, in bra, 2 scenes
Also in limited release
1.Irina Palm (Euro film)
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity and language
2.Maldeamores (Puerto Rico/U.S.A film)
Rated R for language, some sexual content and a violent situation
Totally Skinless
Wide Release
1.Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns
One Backfire-For-Hire Blind Gossip
March 21, 2008
March 20, 2008
Lead-ins:
Unzip it
Which fabulously successful star’s keepin’ her Sapphic ways silent, time for the sexually stymied Friday Blind Gossip!
Heavy Betting
Browhilda Frown-Free is like the typical male. She lives to have it both ways: B-gal just adores the press her man-trotting habits afford her, and then she gets to strut home to the gal she keeps safely, deliciously tucked in bed. Why not? Everybody’s been pulling this fake-o stuff in H-town for ages! But, as you’ll find out in One Backfire-for-Hire Blind Gossip, not all dudes agree to deceive with equal discretion. Yikes!
One Backfire-For-Hire Blind Gossip
Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking—everything but the freedom to love the one she’s (really) with. Don’t worry though, babes, Brow’s been down this fake-amour alley before. She’s a friggin’ pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed.
Howev, BFF’s latest man experience—heady as it all may be—has become slightly more than Browhilda’s used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow’s had this setup with almost every man she’s hooked up with before.
But Ms. F.F.’s latest dude—who’s more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find—has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he’s stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow’s increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya!
And it ain’t: Renee Zellweger, Tilda Swinton, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Comment away!
* Update – Ted has eliminated Renee Zellweger, Tilda Swinton, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kate Hudson, Halle Berry, Demi Moore, Hayden Panettiere, Jennifer Ansiton.
(hints from Ted – this woman is older than Hayden Panty-hair but younger than Kate Hudson).
Nudity In Theaters, 3/15/2008
March 19, 2008
Here’s what’s nude at your local theater this week.
Nudity
Wide Release
1.Doomsday
A.?????, breasts, in bathtub
B.2 ????, butts, pole dancers in thong bottoms and bikini style tops
Sexy/Revealing Scenes
Wide Release
1.Never Back Down
A.Various Anonymous, in bikinis at pool party
B.Amber Heard, 1.in Nipply top, 2.in bikini
C.Lauren Leech, in bikini
Semi Wide Release
1.Funny Games
A.Naomi Watts, bare back, in bra and panties, long but unpleasant scene(s)
Totally Skinless
Wide Release
1.Horton Hears a Who! (animated)
Kristin Davis Sex Tape
March 18, 2008
Kristin Davis Sex Tape!?!?!
The latest celebrity to be caught in a sex tape may be the biggest so far. I mean, at least she’s someone who’s actually an actress and not just some random, publicity whoring nookie girl. The rumor this week is that there’s a sex tape out there with Kristin Davis on it. You probably know her as the only pretty one of the four girls on Sex and the City, and this summer she’ll be on movie screens in Sex and the City: The Movie. Read more
More Toothy Tile hints from Ted 3/17/08
March 18, 2008
From today’s Awful Truth:
Jakey Blue Eyes finally shaved his babyface of that in-mourning scruff—hope the babe’s feelin’ better, we don’t want those pearly whites to be hidden forever. J.G. also was slightly limping. I suspect it’s all that cavorting around cafés with Reese that’s taking a toll on this typically tight-lipped, low-key lad. He trotted off in a Toyota Camry, proof that this unobnoxious stud likes to keep his presence truly private and out of People spreads. Wonder what changed his clandestine ways…maybe love? Hardly.
…He also outs Teri Hatcher as Death Mint Myrtle. Disappointing, predictable. Very recent pics of her really didn’t look that bad to me.
Mischa Barton Nude!
March 15, 2008
Mischa Barton Topless!
Mischa Barton Fully Nude From Behind!
If you didn’t already know, Mischa is in a new movie called Closing the Ring”. The only hype surrounding the movie is that Mischa is naked in it. Even in interviews, the only the SHE mentions is that she’s naked in it, but not to only see the movie for that. From what I’ve seen of the movie, it looks dreary. These stills make it seem a bit better. We’ll get the video clip up as soon as we get our hands on it. Read more
Blind Item Reveals – Kindness
March 14, 2008
Blind Item Reveals – Kindness – With The Movie
March 14, 2008
One Same-Old, Shame-Old Blind Gossip
March 14, 2008
Lead-ins
It’s barely legal (heterosexual, for a damn change) nooky time in Friday’s Blind Gossip!
Leading Shady
For this week’s One Same-Old, Shame-Old Blind Gossip, take your bestest gander at which supposedly snitty ‘n’ classy movie gal is a totally easy score, if you just give her fancy enough trappings when you try to bed her. Busybody guessers, take your mark…
One Same-Old, Shame-Old Blind Gossip
Love Life is a smart flick that became a megahit with everyone from teens to adults, with some critical trophy amour thrown in for good measure. Shark Wankberg, a supersuccessful catch (some say), was the main man behind funding the somewhat quirky film. However, the only reason the damn movie got greenlighted in the first place wasn’t because of the offbeat script that floated all over T-town, but because Sharky wanted to sleep with terribly classy Sheila Slurp-Never, who was famously attached to the project.
See, Sheila’s been a rising star since she first stepped onto the silver screen. Shee-babe’s respected and talented—not to mention quite doable—and S.W. set his sights on bedding the hon some time ago, trust. But as Ms. Slurp-Never puts up such a good act of being the pissy, high-minded brainy type, the horny dude never thought he had a chance getting the broad between the sheets. But that certainly didn’t mean Shark didn’t try his utter best.
Mr. Wankberg saw to it to lay out the cash to get Love’s production rolling along, using his producer power as an excuse to get closer to SSN. And sometime during the filming of the movie that would actually turn out to make millions, Sharky finagled an opportunity to wine and dine Sheila on his yacht, and they did, indeed, do the deed. Turned out to be a piece o’ (very expensive) nooky cake for Shark, much to his slutty surprise.
Regardless, the S’s stealthy sexploits were kept hush-hush—could it be because SSN is a few decades Shark’s junior? Or maybe it’s because Sheila found out about Sharkie’s funding favor for the film and felt obligated to him? Doubt it. She be a horncat, that babe.
On a power-salacious side-note, Ms. Slurp-Never’s costar was also sneaking beneath the sheets with one of the flick’s other producer-types, though less scandalously so since their ages (and intentions) were more on the same page. Boring!
And it ain’t: Parker Posey, Jamie-Lynn Spears, Virginia Madsen
Update 1/31/11 – Ted has eliminated Parker Posey, Jamie-Lynn Spears, Virginia Madsen, Scarlett Johannson, Reese Witherspoon, Keira Knightley, Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt, Michelle Williams/Spike Jonze
Our top suspects:
Sheila Slurp-Never: Natalie Portman
Shank Wankberg: ?
NY Post 3/13/08
March 13, 2008
JUST ASKING
March 13, 2008 — WHICH friendly actor recently fell off the wagon? Though he’s been in rehab several times, he was spotted stumbling out of a Hollywood hotel at 7 a.m. looking totally “wasted” . . . WHICH creepy flack has a reputation for being overly aggressive with women? He was recently booted from a nightclub for manhandling a young lady and pulling her hair . . . WHICH young soap starlet made networks execs extremely nervous when she was starting out? She was known for fooling around with her much older producers . . . WHICH Hollywood hunk cheats on his gorgeous model girlfriend all the time? They’ve been together for a while but he’s clearly not ready to settle down.
The first one is oBlind Gossipious, I think…see comments
